Category Archives: General

Publicity Merchant

Hmm. We wonder if you can guess what our answer was …

6-pair Mighty PlugsName:
Alastair Galpin
Message:
Hi there SnoreStore,
I am really interested in your Mighty Plugs ear plugs.
However, a frustrating problem is preventing me from buying.
No ear plugs I have found fit into my ear canals, and they all fall out within seconds.
I have spent considerable money buying and trying, which is becoming expensive.
Here in New Zealand, I can buy Mighty Plugs ear plugs for four (4!) times the USA cost.
But I wonder if you are the sort of business which will send out a free sample pair for
me to try?
My only suggestion would be that if the free sample pair fits, I come back to you and
admit that I owe you USD10 or whatever it is.
Can you help me with this?
Regards,
– Alastair Galpin (independent record breaker) 2nd biggest Guinness World Records™ breaker of the decade: 2000-09 “Record-breaking exposure” – http://www.WorldRecordChase.com * Want your brand in stock footage? Ask! * Got unwanted air miles? Pass them on to us. * Are you a true eco-warrior? We’d love to advertise you. * Need a record breaker for an eco-awareness or community event? Ask! * Refer website advertising requests you don’t want: We pay for done deals.

What we wanted to say

We received this:

“Well, you certainly know how to lose customers! I am an expat so I must be dishonest! You remind me why I never want to live in the UK again.”

We thought about replying:

“Dear Ms Dog-Barker,

We feel we should advise you that your email address may have been hacked, as it is being used to send emails which are a bit rubbish.

Yours, with increasing respect,

Glyn Jones (rtd.) “

But we didn’t. Because we are RESPONSIBLE and HONEST and we LOVE our CUSTOMERS.

Snorestore is sexist – and that’s official

Sexist Earplugs from Snorestore

Sexist Earplugs from Snorestore

We had someone call us today (020 8861 3149) who wanted advice on which type of earplug would be best for them.

This is always a tricky one for us at Snorestore, as, with the best will in the world, we don’t know without seeing the person in situ what the noise level is they’re being exposed to, how sensitive they are to noise, or how big (or small) their ear canals are.

Undaunted, we will do our level best to come up with a solution. Makes sense, huh? We’re a business after all.

Today Fred suggested to our caller that a Women’s Sample Pack would be the best place for her to start her quest for a suitable earplug to drown out the noise of her partner’s snores. Her response? “Earplugs for wimmin? That’s soooo sexist!”

*snort*

If it’s sexist to say that most men are stronger than most women, most men are taller than most women, most men weigh more than most women, then yes, dear caller, it’s absolutely sexist to have a sample pack of earplugs designed for women, by women. Because like it or not, most women have smaller and shorter ear canals than men. And not surprisingly, the Women’s Sample Earplugs Pack is the first port of call for any woman coming to the Snorestore website who’s fed up with her noisy partner depriving her of her sleep.

Sexist, my arras.

Snorestore and the VAT rise

How 20% VAT affects you

We have updated our prices today, January 4th 2011, to reflect the Coalition Tax which has raised VAT from 17.5% to 20%. From now on, for every five pounds you spend, one pound is going to the government. Great huh?
To avoid silly prices like £5.31 and so on, we have changed our product prices to the nearest 9p. That’s nine pence, not ninety-nine!
This means that on some products, we are actually absorbing some of the cost of the hike in VAT for you. On other products, you might pay a few pence extra, no more. We certainly have not used the VAT rise as an excuse to raise our prices, unlike other companies.

The Snorestore Way

We make no secret of our political allegiances. Our company, Snorestore, operates on fair principles. We pay our staff a decent living wage. They get proper holidays. We support them when they are ill. We pay company corporation taxes, our own incomes taxes, correct levels of National Insurance etc and we’re not at the beck and call of shareholders demanding hefty dividends. In short, we don’t rip the tax payer off and we don’t stuff money in offshore accounts. Unlike some.

 

Gideon Osborne, fresh out of Klosters

Gideon Osborne, Chancellor

Higher National Insurance or higher VAT?

As both employers and employees, Snorestore would have been more than happy to pay increased National Insurance contributions had a Labour government been returned to power in May 2010. The increase in VAT to 20% is a tax on the poor, who have always paid proportionately more VAT out of their meagre income than the rich. Higher National Insurance contributions only affect those who are in work. Most of the poor, who include pensioners and many children, are not in work. Channel Four News’ esteemed Cathy Newman has fact-checked Osborne’s justifications for penalising the poor and found them wanting: Stretching Credulity.

Greedy bankers and the bailout

If the banking industry had paid its über rich employees 10% less in the years from 2000 to 2007, the banks would have saved themselves a colossal £50 billion*. Coincidentally, £50 billion is what you and we paid to bail the banks out when their disastrous lending policies came home to roost and almost caused the collapse of the UK’s financial sector from late 2007 onwards.*
The cost of the bailout is now being shouldered by you and by us. Not by the banks – who continue to pay stupid bonuses – but by my granny, your baby and every other honest person in the land. No-one can possibly argue that VAT at 20% is fair when the men who caused the problems are still coining it at our direct expense. It is indeed, the “wrong tax at the wrong time.

*Beyond the Crash” by Gordon Brown.

Further Reading

The good folk at Left Foot Forward have a handy deconstruction of the Coalition’s VAT rise – that’s the one they swore they wouldn’t implement, remember: Five VAT Facts. Meanwhile the BBC tries to put both sides but the facts speak for themselves: Osborne on the rack. And finally, the majestic Sunny Hundal blogs on how it’s so easy to switch sides once you get a ministerial car to ferry you around: Broken Promises. And we haven’t even mentioned student fees …